Merri Baehr's Blog

Final Cyberbody

merribaehr — Thu, 09 Jul 2009 00:15:43 +0000

In today’s society females fall into one of two social constructs: they are either a virgin or they are a whore. This duality (two parts to one identity), creates a binary, as a woman you are either virgin or whore.

Being known as a “virgin” comes with the assumption that one is innocent, inexperienced, and the idea that she is a “good girl.” A virgin, or “good girl” is not in touch with her sexuality. Heterosexual and/or homosexual desires are suppressed. Though she may be curious about her own body, masterbation is out of the question.

A “whore” is a sexually experienced female. One who has experimented with men and possibly women sexually. The whore is seen as the “bad girl.” One who enjoys sexual exploration and the exploration of herself through masterbation. Often in skin tight clothing and heavy make up, the whore is on the prowl for men of various ages, in the hope that she will be able to take him home that night.

Both of these terms have a negative stigma. Who wants to be inexperienced and afraid of their own sexuality (virgin)? Then again, who wants to be so experienced that she has people calling her trash and saying she will “spread her legs for anyone” (whore)?

So is there a happy medium? There sure could be but it falls onto us! The only way that we, as women in today’s society will not have to carry this burden of being called these derogatory words is if we see to it that the behavior is discontinued. The fact is we ALLOW the male dominant society to refer to us in these ways. If we finally stood up to the double standard and say, “It is not right that I am ridiculed for being with multiple men and that you as a male are celebrated for objectifying women!” We must stick up for ourselves and say, “Just because I am a virgin does not mean I am a prude, it just means that I am not ready to share that experience with someone yet.” Each of us are different and therefore have different wants and needs. It is necessary that we put a stop to the dualisms, to the name calling, and act as mature adults with the realization that there is a diverse group of people in the world who each have their own individual sexuality, so who are we to judge?

Week Five

merribaehr — Tue, 30 Jun 2009 20:05:53 +0000

When I first began the assigned reading for the week I was kind of dreading it. The title, “ACRJ: A New Vision for Advancing Our Movement for Reproductive Health, Reproductive Rights, and Reproductive Justice” just did not seem appealing to me at all. But as I began reading, within the first few sentences, the ACRJ had my full undivided attention. It was interesting to read about the three different frameworks; Reproductive Health, Reproductive Rights, and Reproductive Justice. When I first heard these three frameworks I assumed they all meant nearly the same thing. I was shocked to find that they were in fact all three individual and very different. The Reproductive Health framework addressed the reproductive health needs of females while the Reproductive RIghts framework was designed to protect a woman’s legal rights to reproductive health services, and finally Reproductive Justice was made to organize women and girls to change the inequalities of the structural power.

To be honest, upon reading the Reproductive Rights framework I came to an unsettling feeling. I am a firm believer in pro life and to hear that women are fighting for their “right to choose” really got to me. Because I do believe in equality for men and women but it is difficult because I also believe in that equality for the unborn. I thought the sentence, “Controlling a woman’s body controls her life, her options and her potential” could be taken out of context. I say this because I do not believe that being pro life and advocating life for the unborn is an attempt to control a woman’s body. It is troubling for me because I do not even know how to phrase what I think and feel about all this but the words are flying around in my mind a mile a minute.

Week Four

merribaehr — Mon, 29 Jun 2009 00:37:20 +0000

When I read the readings for the week I was a little shocked that people like J. Lo loved and hated the fact that she was known for her rear end. Now a days all we hear about is African American women embracing their curves. Women like Tyra Banks who stripped down to a bathing suit saying, “I have cellulite and I like it!” The days of being stick thin and considered beautiful are coming to an end and women are embracing their fuller figures. After this week’s readings I cannot help but ask myself if this is true or if this is merely what the media is presenting us with.

It was not until I read about Venus Hottentot that I began to realize why African American women may have a problem with their body parts being objectified. I could not imagine standing in a cage, in the nude having people stare at me from different angles, looking even closer at my private areas just to satisfy their curiosity. It is just so inhumane. Yet, isn’t that what we do? At the Oscar’s and the Academy Awards interviewers from TMZ first ask, “Who are you wearing?” then when the magazines like US Weekly publish pictures they are all followed by phrases like, “And look how that Oscar de la Renta fits her figure – it is snug in all the right places.”

It really does just go to show how visual our society is; not only visual, but also sexualized and yet talking about sex is considered taboo.

Week Three

merribaehr — Tue, 23 Jun 2009 22:13:50 +0000

When I read this week’s Fantasies of Femininity, I was very intrigued. Ussher had my attention right away. When I read “Post Feminism and Individual Choice of Beauty Mask” I was kind of surprised. I guess I never looked at wearing makeup as a choice. Not that I have been forced to wear it. I just never saw it as a big deal. When Ussher quoted magazines I was shocked. ”Making up is about making the most of your best features and playing down the ones that are not much to write home about.” So as a 21 year old consumer I am paying Cosmopolitan and Marie Claire to indirectly insult me and tell me that I have some features to be ashamed of? Wait a minute – I thought after reading a beauty magazine I was supposed to feel beautiful?

It is true, when I buy magazines it is not only to get the latest Hollywood gossip (pathetic I know, but at least I admit it, right?) but also to get some hair and makeup tips that I can use in the future. It is definately not to be told, “PSST! Want to lose weight and meet SEXY men? Turn to page 101 for the catch.” Am I not good enough the way I am to meet “SEXY men?”

After reading this week’s articles I was waiting in line at Vons’ check out flipping through some magazines. Reading what the covers said was so eye opening. It suddenly hit me that it is their mission to make me feel bad about myself so that I will keep buying their “styling tips.” The only way to be up to par and beautiful is if I follow their instructions.

Check out some of the latest titles on Cosmo:

www.cosmopolitan.com

Week One

merribaehr — Tue, 23 Jun 2009 22:03:17 +0000

Before reading Bornstein’s, “My Gender Workbook” I never thought about how many “masculine” type things that I do. In her quiz, “Gender Aptitude Section II: Perceptions” I was shocked at the question, “Have you ever worn the clothes of the opposite sex?” Because I have bought a sweater in the men’s department before but that does not make me manly! Bornstein was shocking for me to say the least. I did not really know how to swallow all the information that was literally thrown at me. Bornstein writes in a way that is really in your face. I have always looked at the material she covers (sex and gender) as a subject not to talk about. So to hear Bornstein talk about such “hush hush” controversial issues in a very casual way was very striking to me.

During our class discussions I was just really baffled. I never heard of the idea of seperating sex and gender. I guess I always assumed they were hand in hand. But I see Bornstein’s point of view. I get why we, as society, should separate the two. Having a binary view on gender just does not work. Trying to fit everyone into two different categories does not work because not everyone fits in the regulations of each category. What do we do with the outliers?

Week Two

merribaehr — Fri, 12 Jun 2009 21:24:27 +0000

When I first opened the book Sexing The Body by Anne Fausto-Sterling I was struck by the story in the introduction. I had no idea they even did gender testing for the Olympics. I figured it was fairly obvious who was male and who was female. This in itself shows my ignorance. I never expected to read that up until 1968 females had to parade naked in front of members of the International Olympic Committee to prove they were in fact female. How demeaning that must have been. I would think just knowing I had to do that would deture me from competing. I guess I always assumed that if a child was born with parts of different genitalia that it was a good idea that the parents chose a gender for the child. I always assumed it would make that child’s life easier. To read about how many are unhappy with the genitalia they have and unhappy in the body they are in is very upsetting. Not only because it is upsetting to hear someone feels so out of place, but also because I have no idea what that must be like.

Because I cannot relate I really have no idea what “side” I am on. Should parents choose a sex for their child if they are born with two parts of genitalia? I would think it would be easier for the child if the parents did. This way the child would conform to society’s gender norms and not be an outsider. This may sound futile but it is in fact true that a child who is an outlier usually has a harder time growing up. I mean, let’s face it, children are ruthless and if they find something about one of their peers to pick on they will take it as far as they possibly can. In addition to that, where would the child go when he/she has to use the restroom? Society would have to come up with a third gender, and even then that would not suffice. We would need more then just three because people are born with various degrees of differing genitalia!

In my women’s studies 375 class, sex, power, and politics, we discussed Anne – Fausto Sterling’s idea of having five sexes, the male, female, herm, merm, and ferm. Usually in a discussion I speak up a lot but for some reason I could not find any words to say during this one. Perhaps because I was uncomfortable or unfamiliar with the subject, but honestly I think it is because I do not know what we should do. Even as I read Kate Bornstein I understand that she is pointing out the problem that sex and gender have become one in today’s society and that there are not just two genders and that we as a society need to be more understanding of these things. However, I see no resolve to the issue at hand.

It seems that most authors on the subject have no trouble outlining the issues that should be addressed. However, I have yet to read (until Anne-Fausto Sterling’s idea) a solution to the problem. Yes, it is important that we point the wrongs of society out. But what now will we do with this information? Should we create a third, fourth, perhaps a fifth gender? Should we try and erase gender completely? Making it so that people do not identify as man or woman, they identity as an individual, a human being. Still, even the word human has the word “man” in it. And if we take away gender completely we will have to take away the words, “masculine” and “feminine” because they only support gender roles. I understand what Bornstein says that sex is merely the act itself, however, if we erase gender roles how will one’s sexual orientation be defined? The more I think of it the more I see how the two, gender and sex, have become to interrelated. I can see how some have trouble telling the two apart.

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merribaehr — Sat, 30 May 2009 19:01:06 +0000

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